Friday, April 1, 2011

Pebbles of Colorful Deliciousness

I love being green, don't you? If you are taking steps to green up your life, or reduce your carbon footprint, or be more self sustaining, you know how good it can feel. Do you have a vegetable garden? Surely then, you know the warm, fuzzy feeling that comes from eating your own, home grown produce. Or if you buy your produce from a local, dreamy, open-air farmers' market you have experienced that sense of pride, knowing that you are supporting local farmers, as well as reducing the carbon footprint of having your produce shipped from out of state.

I live for cloth diapers and wipes. I love having a kitchen that smells like vinegar, a toilet that bubbles with baking soda, and armpits that smell like coconuts. I love not pouring toxic shampoo on my head, and rinsing with an apple cider vinegar in my shower. I love that it makes me smell like a salad until my hair dries.

I was at the grocery store on Wednesday. I went to the trusty natural foods section to check out the cereal. My house is not big on eating cereal. After growing up myself, eating nothing but crappy cereal in copious amounts for breakfast (and sometimes lunch), I decided that it would be best to simply not bring it into the house, in favor of more nutritious breakfasts, such as oatmeal, eggs, etc. I went to check out the cereal to be used as a quick nibbly snack for the kids. You know, a snack for a cranky, hungry baby and preschooler that just fell in a puddle. A fast snack. A clean snack.

I pulled my cart up to the organic cereal shelf. It had been so long since my eyes had grazed the choices that awaited me. I would choose 1 box. I was excited by the options. Peanut butter, chocolate, yummy granola! I picked a box of Puffins. That would totally do the trick. But wait! What's this?! They are ON SALE! What a GREAT PRICE! 3 more boxes landed in my cart. Without so much as a flinch, I grabbed a half gallon of Rice Milk from the opposite side of the aisle. I would have to help the kids, after all- 4 boxes of healthy cereal would last us a couple months, and you know, I wouldn't want them to go stale or something! I felt warm and fuzzy. I patted myself on the back for what an amazing person I had become, and for the good, healthy deeds that I was doing for my children.

I rounded the corner on my way to the checkout, and my eyes skimmed the end cap display. Brightly colored boxes, colored with cartoon characters and promises of red 40, and blue 1, and yellow 5 whispered their presence like a buzz in my ear. Before I knew what had happened, an arm that could not have been mine, darted out, grabbing a box of Fruity Pebbles from the shelf, catapulting it gracefully to my organic filled grocery cart. Then, in a trance like state, I scurried to the checkout, where I must have overlooked the brightly colored box when I tossed in on the belt, and again, did not see it when the lovely cashier packed it in my reusable grocery tote... It was not until I got home, put the kids down for a nap, pulled out a bowl and started ripping the inside bag open to indulge in some ADHD promoting chemicals that I came to, and realized what I had done. OH THE HORROR! I stood there, at that pivotal moment- having a stare down with the container of rice milk. My eyes, darting from the carton to the bowl of fruity deliciousness. Should I? Who will I become? Should I step to the dark side? Will I find the strength to find my way back? And then?

AND THEN????????

 I ate the whole fucking box over the course of the next 36 hours.

No regrets people. NO R.E.G.R.E.T.S


  1. But how can it be bad for you when it makes your milk such a fun color?! :)


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