Sunday, January 16, 2011

In a RUT

I recently sat, staring at my blog with a bit of bitterness lingering in my mouth. To me, this blog started off with such excitement and promise. I was giddy over the potential of my online diary (with pictures)! It was originally meant just for me. I suppose it is still, meant for just me, but it seems to be painting a picture of my current life as dull, boring, and uneventful. I suppose I am feeling that way as of late. It seems to be an accurate depiction. I look at my profile snippit and read this"

"A conglomeration of crafty, homey, greening goodness, Family Style Love is a way for me to find my way through life as a new mom in a two-mom household. With recent discoveries that I am becoming a dirty hippy, I am walking myself, and anyone else who wants to come with me, through the increasingly wonderful world that is my life, filled, of course, with Family Style Love."

Only, I don't feel that I am fulfilling any of those claims to myself or others. Crafty? Yeh, whatever, I can't even remember the last time I did anything that I would consider "crafty". Homey? Ummmm, the last time I posted anything about a project in my house was last March, I think, when we finished our main bathroom remodel. Greening goodness? Pshaw! I think that the last time I mentioned anything "green" was in some rant about chemicals in our daily lives... once again... I want to be inspiring. Of course, inspiring to others would be nice, but I want to inspire myself as well. I have not been doing that. I have a lot of things I am interested in doing, but have I done any of them? Nope. Is it a lack of time? Is it a lack of energy? Is it a lack of desire? Is it a lack of patience? Is it a lack of support? I have no idea. I feel so blase lately, and it is really bringing me down. What would a person be classified as when they have over 500 inspiring pictures of home decor ideas, for example, but has yet to utilize a single idea? Am I a perfectionist? Am I unenthusiastic? Am I broke? Am I all of the above? ugh. Any insight out there? What can I do to shake this nonsense???

4 comments:

  1. Sounds like you have a case of the winter blues.....
    A wise person once told me "Remember this is only a test.", meaning that what I was going through was only a test of my will and strenth. This too shall pass, is another way of saying it.

    I have told all my kids that life is about choices. You can choose to be blue or choose to do something about it. Sounds harsh I know but in reality, it's true. We have the ability to choose to change our surroundings and our paths. We only need to choose what to change. : )

    That being said, I hope that you feel better about things soon. I have only been following you a short time,(Actually. I've only been blogging a little over a week) but I truly enjoy visiting your page. Feel free to post on my page... i'll get back to you. T/C {{{}}}

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  2. Aww, I think we all go through ruts from time to time and you must be super busy with both kiddos. I know I often would rather veg out on the couch at the end of the day than blog or do something productive. Give yourself permission to be in a rut and ride it out and see where it it takes you. OR, find some new endevour that you are super excited about that will kickstart you back here. Either way, we'll be waiting when you're ready to return!

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  3. "What would a person be classified as when they have over 500 inspiring pictures of home decor ideas, for example, but has yet to utilize a single idea? Am I a perfectionist? Am I unenthusiastic? Am I broke? Am I all of the above? ugh. Any insight out there? "

    It sounds to me like you are doing what we all do in the quiet months and cold spells...a little bit of hoarding and hibernating. The word hoard is kind of ugly, but I find those collections of inspiration hoarded in the quiet seasons of life become spectacular products later on, just not always when, or in the way, we expect.

    As a reader, I always enjoy what you have to say. I'm pretty picky about blogs and you are one of the few who seems to consistently tell wonderful stories about particular moments in your family's history. As my partner and I continue to struggle to find a way to bring family into being the stories are as inspirational to me as they are mundane to you (I hope that makes some sense).

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  4. As a very new reader, I find this type of post just as interesting as a post about a great crafty project. One helps the rest of us feel a little less alone when we see ourselves in your words, and the other gives us cool ideas. Both are inspiring. Keep it up, honor where you are, and be kind to yourself. (I often feel overwhelmed with just one kid in the mix...and I know I will have more of those moments, days, and weeks with two!)

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