Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Attachment Parenting

Mindi and I have never been "into" attachment parenting. We felt that letting a baby or child share a bed with their parents was a little too touchy feely for us. We are touchy feely people, but not in that way. As a little girl, I can remember trying to crawl into bed with my mom and dad, and being ushered out of the room and back to my own bed. It always bummed me out. I tried anyways, but always to no avail. Down the road, I realized that my parents were doing the right thing. After all, had they let me sleep in the bed with them, they may have ended up with an overly- dependant, timid child. I always felt that kids really did need to "cry it out"- I mean, really, kids need to learn to soothe themselves at some point. They need to not rely on other people to jump when they whimper.

Fast forward a few years, get pregnant, and push out a baby...

We co sleep with our baby. I wear him around the house and out. He is rarely not being held by either Mindi or myself. He rarely cries because, since we are already holding him, we rarely miss early cues of hunger, or miss the smell of a dirty diaper. I cannot fathom the idea of letting my baby cry, of not picking him up and comforting him. I love having him in the bed with us, or, if he is fussy, in the bouncer next to me with the vibration turned on. I never thought that I would practice "attachment parenting", and if anyone had told me that eventually I would, I would have told them that they were crazy. Well look at us now- baby wearing, co-sleepin mamas! I love it!


12 comments:

  1. You rule. I feel like attachment parenting has become the label for a thing that people have been doing for years, you know? It's instinctual and I can't really imagine it any other way either.

    PS you're all beautiful

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  2. same thing going on here.

    we swore we wouldn't have our baby in bed with us, but it's the only way he will sleep for large chunks of time, and that's reason enough to bring him into the bed! Now that we do it the thought of putting him in the big co-sleeper all alone seems cruel! we're also of the babywearing camp.

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  3. I love co-sleeping! We did it with our son, now 9 y/o and now our newborn daughter, who's 11 weeks old. At first I was scared to co-sleep with her since she was a preemie and so tiny. But in the end, she decided it, because she loves to sleep with her nose up on my breast and hand up top the breast to hug me. It's priceless. Oh and BTW my 9 y/o is JUST FINE from his co-sleep experience...very independent and healthy! I say enjoy your family not label them with things that you should or shouldn't do...just do what comes naturally!

    Congrats!!!!!

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  4. how cute is he! i did a lot of research in college on attachment theory and parenting way before we were thinking of ttc. there really is reason behind the method and the consequences of not responding to your child's needs can be incredibly traumatic and affect the way he attaches to others throughout his life. i'm so glad you're doing this. congrats!

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  5. I think attatchment parenting is a great idea! Co sleeping too. I hope we will be doing that when we have our own small person. What kind of wrap did you guys get? I like the ring slings but Harris looks real comfy in that one.

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  6. Oh my gosh, look at his fuzzy boots!!!

    We're not cosleeping because Punk didn't take to it at all, and she's such a restless sleeper that NO ONE was sleeping. She really needs to be in a Fortress of Solitude because she's soooo distractible and Jen snores, so our room was right out.

    It's funny, my kid seems determined to make me NOT an attached parent! :)

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  7. he's absolutely adorable! we did a lot of co-sleeping when ryan was small and we love the idea of it but she won't sleep when she's in our bed now. she thinks it's the coolest thing and likes to touch our faces and say, "hi, mama, hiiii mama, hiiiiya mamamamama," you get the picute. it's totally cute for a minute but then it's not so cute anymore. when she's old enough to actually sleep, i will be totally all about it!

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  8. awh. beautiful shots of you both with the little man.

    i think you guys are making the best parenting decisions for your family, and don't anyone tell you you're wrong for doing it that way! you both know what is best for your wee one!

    way to go mamas!

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  9. I don't think any of us will ever know how we will react until we are in the role. I think it's great to do what comes naturally.

    Great pics btw!!

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  10. Please pinch his little cheek for my gently. He is a wonderful looking child.

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  11. You guys look cozy in your Moby. I liked it at first, then got into the Ergo with baby insert, then went back to the Moby (with him facing out) and now am mostly using the Ergo. Just easier to plop him in there and go.

    We were not opposed to co-sleeping but, in practice, it seemed crowded in the bed. We thought that Mateo would have a hard time adjusting out of our bed, but he went into the co-sleeper bassinet just fine, and recently (8 months) went into his crib in his room (no problems).

    We consider ourselves lucky to have such a mellow kid who goes with the flow...

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  12. Ohhh, i understand that dilemma. We still keep saying we'll be hands-off when it comes to sleeping, but everyone says, 'just wait and see'!

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